Animated Discussions

Roleplay Roleplay by KURTIS RAY
On Tue, Aug07, 2018 11:02pm America/Phoenix
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Animated Discussions
(The scene fades in on a somewhat crudely drawn rendition of an office. There is a large desk set in the middle of the room with a high-backed chair behind it, and a hand can be seen drumming on the arm of the chair. The animation is shoddy at best, using limited frames to denote movement. The sound of a door opens and two silhouettes shuffle into the room.)

VOICE: HONK HONK HONK LATE HONK!

(The chair whips around to reveal a character that is obviously a caricature of the current WWX General Manager, Tommy Lipton, except his head is that of a Canada Goose.  He looks angry, his mouth locked in a cartoon scowl. He slams his hands down on the desk, sending a number of small items flying.)

"TOMMY": HONK HONK TIMMY TETLEY HONK! HONK HONK? HONK???

(There is a 'clang' and a plaque appears on the screen with a nameplate that says 'The GM: Timmy Tetley.' The scene changes to reveal the two people who had entered before, who are also crudely-drawn caricatures of Blade Rickman and Rex McAllister. Name plates clang onto the screen as well as the Rex caricature stutters at their boss, revealing their names as Shiv Robertson and Flex McGillicuddy.)

SHIV: Duhhh-uh, sorry boss. We got lost cause Flex di-int wanna ask for directions.

FLEX: Th-th-th-that's not true! Shiv wanted to stop for ice cream, and you know I can't say know to those big, stupid eyes.

(Timmy slams his hands down on the desk again, standing up and beginning to pace behind the desk.)

TIMMY: Honk honk Timmy Tetley honk. Tetley honk honk Timmy Tetley honk.

(Both Shiv and Flex nod. They turn to leave, but Flex pauses, turning back to face Timmy.)

FLEX: ...Sorry, Timmy. It won't happen again.

(The scene changes to the outside of the building where. Shiv and Flex rush out the door, followed by a number of large objects being hurled after them, including the large desk. The pair jump into a poorly-drawn car that speeds off.

The scene transitions again to show a view of a cartoon Kurtis Ray at a cafe, eating a large piece of cake, as viewed through a pair of binoculars. The scene cuts back to show the outside of the crudely-rendered car with a comically large pair of binoculars sticking out the window. Flex and Shiv get out of the car, and Flex pulls an impossibly large duffel bag out of the tiny car. Flex digs into it, producing a drone control module, a bazooka, several large swords, and a satellite control module, casting them all away in favor of a bundle of dynamite and a terrible fake mustache, which he sticks to his face.)

FLEX: Alright, Shiv. I'm going to go pose as a waiter and plant the bomb. When I give you the signal, you press the plunger. Got it?

(Shiv was distracted  watching a bird, but he snaps to attention, saluting.)

SHIV: Duh-uhh... Sir, yes sir!

(Flex grins wickedly, rubbing his hands together as he gathers his supplies. The scene transitions to the cafe where Kurtis is eating. His plate is clean and cartoon Kurtis lets out a whoosh of breath. He looks surprised when Flex brings another piece of cake. Before Kurtis can say anything, Flex interrupts.)

FLEX: Non, non monseiur! Zis cake, she is on ze 'ouse. You are ze.... ze millionth customer! Please enjoy, with our regards! Bon appetit.

(Kurtis shrugs and takes the cake. The scene zooms in on Flex, who smirks evilly, then disappears into the kitchen. The scene switches back tothe car, wher Shiv is pretending to sword fight an invisible enemy, only to fling the stick away when Flex returns.)

FLEX: Alright, dumdum. On the count of three.

(Flex picks up his binoculars, finding Kurtis again.)

FLEX: One.... two... three!

(There is no explosion, and cartoon Kurtis saunters off.)

FLEX: Shiv, what gives? Did you hit the switch?

SHIV: Duhh-uhh, sorry Flex. I forgot.

(Shiv, who is busily eating a piece of cake, digs the switch out of his pocket. Flex's eyes go wide when he spots the bomb cake.)

FLEX: Shiv, wait-

(Shiv flips the switch, and there is an immediate explosion. When the smoke clears, Flex and Shiv are standing there in their underwear, scorched and smoldering.)

FLEX: Timmy's going to be maaaaad.

SHIV: Duhh... uh huh.

FLEX: TAXI!

(There is a laugh track that plays, and the pair of buffoons load into a convenient cab as the scene transitions to a closing title card for Timmy Tetley and the Goon Platoon. Almost all of the credits are Kurtis Ray, except for the voice of Timmy Tetley, who is credited as "Absolutely Not An Imitation Of Tommy Lipton." The very end of the credits identifies it as a WWX Studios Production.)

KURTIS: Not bad, right? I hear it's an early contender for an Annie award.

(The camera pulls back from a computer screen, panning to reveal Kurtis ray sitting in front of a different computer with a graphics tablet and a microphone in close proximity. The former champion stretches, rolling his chair back and standing up. He makes his way over to a coffee machine and pours himself a cup. He takes a drink, cringing at the taste before taking a second.)

KURTIS: So Here we are, in the leadup to Fury. And on Fury, I have a match someone has laughingly referred to as a grudge match between me and Tommy's goombah Blaze Rickman. I'd love to know who decided it was a grudge match, unless this is just cause Blaze whined to Tommy after he got his ass beat at World Series.

(Kurtis takes another drink of the coffee, making another face.)

KURTIS: This isn't personal for me, you know. This whole thing about WWX bein' on a road to ruin and me setting out to save it isn't about altruism, either. This is about two thing, and I want you to understand my motivation here so I'll go slow.

(Kurtis holds up one finger.)

KURTIS: One; This is about bringing respect back to the WWX. Like I said before, like I'll say again. This is about busting down the WWX Hero Machine and teaching the lazy, entitled punks that have filled up the roster in my absence what it means to actually work. And that includes you, Rickman, because you have never done anything of note in the WWX that wasn't at Lipton's behest, right? You're a good little soldier, Blaze, but you're on the wrong side.

(Kurtis takes another drink of his coffee, managing not to grimace this time. He holds up two fingers now.)

KURTIS: Two: This is about my path to the title. We all new it was gonna come there. Ever since I lost that title I haven't been in a position where Management had my back, despite the illusion of suck with previous management types. I'm going to carve my path to the title, and I'dd go through everyone I have to to make that dream a reality. You're a speed bump, Rickman, and I already proved that once. On Fury, when we face off, you're gonna learn why it is you don't want to get in my way twice.

(Kurtis empties the coffee cup, clicking his tongue.)

KURTIS: Whatever you got planned for Ravage, maybe you wanna reconsider. Maybe just don't turn up, Blade, because if you don't turn up at least you can say for sure you'll still be able to walk away. Maybe I'll see you on Fury, big guy. If you do turn up, I'll make sure it's a night you never forget.

(Kurtis tosses his coffee cup into the trash, then leaves the office, flicking off the lights after him)

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