Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moon light?
On Fri, May11, 2018 10:53pm America/Phoenix
Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moon light?
(Scene opens in the garage at the 420 residence. It’s a large open area, with a little workshop back off in the corner. Half of the space is occupied by a few various weight machines and free weights, a couple stationary bikes and treadmills. The other half is set up as a game room. 2 pool tables, a bubble boy hockey machine, one of those mini basketball hoops, and a couple arcade style games. The camera takes an extra few second to pan across the WWX Tag Team Championship Belts, which are proudly on display on one of the pool tables. The walls are covered in various framed jerseys and newspaper clippings. There are also a few stand up shelves, full of various trophies, helmets and footballs. “No Woman, No Cry," by Bob Marley is playing in the background. In the corner, we see Matt Glazebrook and Gary Tinordi finishing up a game of Golden Tee. Glazebrook is wearing a pair of baggy blue jeans, a pair of black covered boots, and a plain olive green t shirt. Tinordi has on a pair of dark blue track pants, dark blue John Wall T shirt jersey and a pair of brown flip flops. He is also sporting a tan floppy hat.) Tinordi - Oh, whaddup, Cameraman? Cameraman - Hey guys. Glazebrook - Dude, you just missed the ultimate beatdown. I kicked his ass. Tinordi - We tied. Glazebrook - Haters gonna hate. Tinordi - Whatever, dude. But I am sure the lovely fans of the X aren't interested in hearing about how this is the closest you have come to beating me in about a month. Glazebrook - Nah, dude. There's no need to even mention that. Tinordi - Exactly. But there is something that bares mentioning, and it is coming up on the next Ravage. Glazebrook - Yeah, dude.. it looks like you gotta go out there again without me. Tinordi - Yeah, dude. I guess there are no tag teams in the WWX that want a piece of the greatest duo to ever grace the Earth with their presence. And this match is different. This isn't some one on one match that they throw on the card so the fans of the X get to see 420 in action when there are no worthy tag teams to throw in the ring with them. There's like, 3 or 4 crackers that they are throwing in the ring with me. Glazebrook - So, like, when am I going to get a match? Tinordi - Uh... I don't know. I'm not in charge of booking the matches. I'm just in charge of getting in the ring and kicking ass, just like you. Glazebrook - Yeah, dude... so, like... who you got this week? Tinordi - Uh... I don't know? There's like, a bunch of different guys I'm in a match with. Cameraman - You are facing Dragonfly, Kristian Bale and Scott... Glazebrook - Dude.. did you say Christian Bale? Tinordi - Why? You know him? Glazebrook - Yeah, dude... he's Batman! Tinordi - No way, dude. Bruce Wayne is Batman. Glazebrook - Nah, dude... well, like, yeah, dude. But like, he plays Batman. Tinordi - Nah, dude... Adam West plays Batman. Glazebrook - Yeah, but, like, in the movies. Tinordi - Nah, dude... that's like Michael Douglas. Glazebrook - Yeah, but like, later... wait. Nah, dude... Michael Douglas was in that movie with Sharon Stone where she, like... showed off her... uh.. stuff? Tinordi - Oh yeah! That was a cool movie. Glazebrook - Yeah, dude... that chick was a |BLEEP|. Cameraman - Michael Keaton was Batman in the first movie. Tinordi - Oh yeah.. there were like, a few Batmans. Glazebrook - Yeah, but, like, Christian Bale was the Batman for the last few movies, not like the old movies. Tinordi - Damn, so, like, what are they up to now, like Batman 10 or something? Glazebrook - I don't know... they don't name them like, Batman, Batman 2, Batman 3... Tinordi - Why not? Glazebrook - I don't know... I'm not in charge of Batman. Tinordi - Fair enough. Cameraman - There are a few different Batman movies, actually. Well, series of movies, I should say. The ones with Michael Keaton and Val Kilmer and George Clooney are different than the Christian Bale and Heath Ledger as the Joker ones. Glazebrook - Check out the knowledge on Cameraman! Tinordi - Yeah, dude... I told you... he's smart as shit. Glazebrook - Dude, you should be on Jeopardy. Tinordi - So, anyway, I have this match with Batman. Glazebrook - Dude... how the hell are you going to beat up Batman? Tinordi - Dude... it's easy. So, like, whenever the Joker or the Penguin or the Riddler have Batman and Robin, like trapped and tied to one of those crazy wheels that have razor blades flying all over the place as it spins around, they always reveal their entire plan and then walk away laughing, only to find out later that Batman and Robin escaped the "escape-proof" trap that they had set up to finish their sinister plot to destroy Gotham City. So, like... I won't tell him my plan. And I won't leave. So, if I don't turn my back on him, he can't break free from my trap and destroy my plan. Glazebrook - Dude... that is genius! Tinordi - I know, right? So, who else is in this match? Cameraman - Scott Grayse. Tinordi - Scott Grease? Cameraman - Grayse. Glazebrook - Gross? Cameraman - Grayse. Tinordi - Like, Amazing Grace, how sweet thy sound? Cameraman - Well, it is spelled different, but you are pretty close. Glazebrook - So, like... is he going to stop and make us bow our heads while he says Grace before the match? Tinordi - Dude... I hate when they do that before like Thanksgiving dinner. It's like, you just spent 7 hours cooking this damn turducken or whatever and stuffing and mashed potatoes and shit. Then, you go through and get your plate set up and you've smoked a big ass... wait... um... anyway, you're about to put a beatdown on this plate and everyone is like, wait, we gotta get little Timmy to say grace, and you're like, Damnit, Timmy had all the time in the world to say grace while the shit was cooking. And he should probably start early anyway, since he has a speech impediment and takes an hour to thank God and Jesus for like love and prosperity and Moses for the commandments and Noah for the Ark and Cain and Abel for whatever the hell they did. I'm just sitting there like a drooling dog staring down this tower of turducken that has no idea what is about to happen to it. Glazebrook - So, it's like, you, Batman and Amazing Grace? Tinordi - I guess so. Cameraman - No, there's one more. Tinordi - Well, the suspense is killing me, dude. Cameraman - His name is Dragonfly. Tinordi - Dragonfly? Cameraman - Yes... Dragonfly. Glazebrook - Dragonfly? Like, those big looking mosquito-looking things, but they don't bite? Tinordi - Everything looks like a mosquito to you. Glazebrook - Nah, dude... have you ever seen a Dragonfly? They look like mosquitoes. Tinordi - The mosquito is the state bird of Arkansas. I think that is where your Glazebrook - This is a fact. Tinordi - So, like, this fly guy shouldn't even bother dragon his ass out of bed that morning. Because I'm just going to be dragon his ass around the ring like a mop. Glazebrook - Ahh... I see what you did there. Dude... I think I saw that Dragonfly dude last week. He's like... a real small dude. Tinordi - Like... a midget? Glazebrook - Nah, dude... not that small. But like... remember Buckle? He was like 5'7 and like, a buck 50 soaking wet? Tinordi - Yeah, dude... his belt buckle and cowboy hat were like half his weight. Glazebrook - Like, small like that. Tinordi - Oh... Glazebrook - Yeah, dude... I meant to tell you, but he was talking about this match and how you and the other two dudes were all big and clumsy and he had the one thing you guys didn't and that was speed, or something? Tinordi - Speed? He said I don't have speed? I ran a 4.58 at the combine! My 3 cone was the best in my class among linebackers! I'll race him in the 40 right now! Glazebrook - Oh... I thought he was talking about meth. Tinordi - Oh... maybe. Holy Jesus... this dude IS a mosquito! He's just going to be buzzing around the big boys as we knock each other around. Glazebrook - I told you! Tinordi - Yeah, dude... but do you know throughout our long and storied careers, how many matches have we been in where there are like, I don't know, anywhere from 4 to 8 men in the ring at the same time, going at it? Glazebrook - Like, at least 2. Cameraman - Ha... I can probably think of 15 or 20 off the top of my head. Glazebrook - I was close. Tinordi - Yeah, dude... there have been quite a few. And you know what? There is only one difference between most of those matches and this one here. 99%... well, like probably not, 99%, but like... a whole lot of them were matches where you got bodies flying around and there's absolute chaos going on and out of your peripheral vision, you see someone running up behind you and I would have to stop for about a split second, which in a match like this is all the time in the world... but I had to pause and ask myself, "Is this Glaze?" You see, I don't have to ask myself that question here. Glaze isn't in this match, so it's a free for all. So, that fraction of a second is now spent wondering if I should give a quick Mule Kick to stop him in his tracks or use his momentum to deliver a Bulldog or something. (As he speaks, the camera slowly starts panning to a bust shot of Tinordi, but Glazebrook is seen in the background picking up a glass bowl and pulling out his lighter. A couple flickers are soon followed by a couple quick coughs.) Yeah... it may be surprising to you guys, but I do know my way around the wrestling ring. You guys just keep on thinking that I am just one of those dumb stoners who have smoked themselves retarded. Because that is a popular opinion among those who have never been in the ring with one... or both of us. But you guys will find this out, When you wake up on Tuesday, or maybe I should say, IF you wake up on Tuesday, I can guarantee that opinion will have changed in your minds and you will know exactly what time it is. And you'll find out what many before you have learned... that when you step in the ring with 420, we're gonna treat you like a roach, and smoke ya! (The camera pans out as Glazebrook slowly lets out a large amount of smoke directly into the frame, which eventually fills with smoke before fading to black.)