#GeekSquad

Roleplay Roleplay by KURTIS RAY
On Mon, Mar26, 2018 11:55am America/Phoenix
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#GeekSquad
(A camera comes to life, showing the outside of a Best Buy store. There are a fair number of people about, most of them ignoring the camera. Some of the passers-by mug for the camera, mouthing the words 'hi mom' or waving excitedly or the like, but for the most part the civilians stay clear of the camera, making sure to hide their faces or avert their eyes. There are a crowd of people around in WWX shirts marked as either security or production assistants who mostly look bemused or bored.)

VOICE: We ready?

(A muffled affirmative sounds from the cameraman, and after a moment, Kurtis Ray steps into frame. He is dressed  like he's ready for a boxing match, right down to an elaborately-decorated robe with a cave painting motif that appears to illustrate him delivering the Death Ray to someone, along with eye-catching, glittery text that says #nevermore. He pulls a mouthguard out of his mouth and grins at the camera.)

KURTIS: What up, Universe? We're here today at a place I have it on good authority we can confront my first opponent for Ravage this week, one Mr. Tanno Waters. Come on.

(Kurtis turns and makes his way into the store. The associate greeting people at the door looks surprised but allows Kurtis and the crowd of  WWX personnel to pass as the former world champion makes his way purposefully to the back of the store. Kurtis turns around to face the camera, walking backwards for a moment as people scurry out of his way.)

KURTIS: Tanno, I bet you'll watch this later, and I want to make sure you're aware of something. As we're about to see, as you know very well, the Raven is all talk. You're no match for the Hype Train. And it's not cause of ability or dedication or whatever. It's because, deep down in your heard of hearts you're a disrespectful little twerp and an Ravage, yo're going to get what's coming to  you. I know I talk about respect a lot. I have a deep respect for this business because this business shaped me, destroyed me, and rebuilt me in to the man you see today. When you were GM you acted like the WWX was your playground, and now that you're a performer again you treat it like a nuisance. As someone who loves this company and loves the fans, I take personal exception to that.

(A muffled voice calls out from behind the camera, and Kurtis grins, turning around to come face to face with the Geek Squad desk. Nobody is present, so Kurtis dings a bell, leaning an arm on the counter and waiting for someone.)

KURTIS: I swear to god, the service at these places is ridiculous. See, Tanno, this is why I don't like you. You talk a big game and then you're nowhere to be found when someone steps up. Unbelievable.

(After a moment, a blond woman appears at the desk, looking somewhat flustered.)

WOMAN: How may I-

(Kurtis holds up a finger, and the woman stops speaking. Her eyes dart to the camera and then back to the flamboyantly dressed superstar.)

KURTIS: Let me stop you there, miss. I don't need help, I'm here looking for one of your coworkers. His name is Tanno Waters, I have it on good authority that he's here today.

(The woman looks confused, quirking an eyebrow.)

WOMAN: I don't think there's a Tanno scheduled today. But I can go and check if you'd like.

(Kurtis nods and the woman disappears into the back. In the meantime, Kurtis turns back to the camera.)

KURTIS: What we've got here is a case of you pitching outside of coverage. You made a decision to interfere in the Crusade Cup to goose the finalist towards what you wanted. You made a decision to act on weeks of antagonism and, in the most cowardly way possible, you robbed me of a chance to win the Crusade Cup by attacking the other guy and getting me disqualified. Bravo, little buddy. You achieved what you wanted, but at what cost?

(Kurtis drums his fingers on the countertop, adjusting so he's leaning against it fully now.)

KURTIS: Ask Darkness. Ask Syndicate. Ask Xavier Pendragon. Damian Price. Willie Steen. All of these me have been in matches with me when the stakes are high. Every one of them has experienced some degree of the full force of the Hype Train when they had my attention. And you know what's common between all of them, Tanno? When I was serious, none of them were good enough to take me out. And what are you in comparison to these men, hmm? You're a wannabe. You're the punchline to a joke nobody told. To borrow a quote from when I started this whole crazy ride... You're irrelevant, and I bet that irritates the hell out of you. On Ravage, I'm going to demonstrate just how futile your little campaign against me is.

(Kurtis chuckles, checking his phone and rolling his eyes.)

KURTIS: I swear to god, I'm going to have to fill out one of those stupid survey cards. So let's keep this ball rolling and move on to the final round. Like I'm going to. And on that face we have two possible guests fixing to board the Hype Train. Jarvis Valentine... And Hex Girl.

(Kurtis looks thoughtful for a moment, moving away from the Geek Squad counter to look at a stand of Blu Ray movies.)

KURTIS: So first up, we have Jarvis. Jarvis Valentine has two things I respect. He has determination, and he has moxie. One day I'm sure Jarvis will be in a position to go far in this company. One day Jarvis may just be champion, because honestly I've watched a couple of your matches and you have this whole never give up vibe that resonates with people. And I respect that. But you got a huge obstacle in front of you in the comparatively small package that is Hex Girl. She knows how to put up a fight. I'm sure you're taking this serious, Jarvy, but if you're really fixing to get on board with me and ride that rail to the international championship, you'd best be prepared to do what needs to be done. You get caught up on the fact that Hex Girl is of the fairer gender, you're gonna get your head kicked off.

(Kurtis picks up a discounted DVD copy of Friday the 13th, glancing at the back before returning it to the shelf. He turns his attention back to the camera.)

KURTIS: For what it's worth, Valentine, I meant what I said on the Heatbox. I hope you make it to the final, because I want to impress upon you the full weight of what those opportunities you're so excited about really mean. Just being excited isn't enough, you have to be prepared to push past your breaking point, which I've seen you do. You have potential, man, but the problem with potential is that it only takes you so far if you don't start producing results. You might be a young lion, but I'm a seasoned gladiator, and my sword cuts deep.

(Kurtis winks at the camera, then shadow boxes with a Thor: Ragnarok standee. Still no sign of the return of the Best Buy girl.)

KURTIS: And then there's our lady Hex Girl. Haven't heard anything from her so far, but I'm sure we will. Hex, we've never faced off in the ring before. I was partnered with your pal Kailee and I kinda let her down in the tag team tournament, and I feel bad for that. However, that's the past and it doesn't do any good to dwell on that. You, however, you're a different story. Because as much time as I've spent in the ring, as many people I've fought, I've never actually faced off with a female wrestler. So you're quite possibly the one thing in this whole mix-up that I'm not empirically prepared for.

(Kurtis moves back to lea on the counter, looking for any sign of anyone coming back.)

KURTIS: Hex, I want to put this out here and say in advance that if you do make it to the finals, which I reckon you probably will, that I'm sorry for the fact that you're going to be facing me. You made the decision to tangle with the boys so I'm going to respect that and I'll give you the full brunt of my experience. I'll do my best not to cause any permanent damage.

(Finally the back door opens and the Best Buy girl returns.)

WOMAN: Sorry for the wait, Tanno will be right out.

(Kurtis starts, looking legitimately surprised before regaining his composure. He rolls his shoulders then grins.)

KURTIS: Thanks.

(Once again the door opens and a large, blonde man comes out. Clearly he is of Scandanavian ancestry, but he is both several inches taller and broader then the former champion. Kurtis stares at the man, wide eyed.)

MAN: Sir? I hear you requested my assistance. Is there anything I can do for you?

(Kurtis shakes off his initial surprise, still in awe of the man.)

KURTIS: N-No, no thank you. This was all a bit, actually, but um... Whoa. Have you ever considered a career in professional wrestling?

(The camera pans over to to a stand full of WWX Blurays before cutting to black.)

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