Hey Darkness, I found a dictionary on the internet!

Roleplay Roleplay by BOB THE BEAST MELLON
On Sat, Jan13, 2018 12:13am America/Phoenix
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Hey Darkness, I found a dictionary on the internet!
(Mellon on his red-eye to San Diego for this weekend's Ravage learns that promos had been cut against in a day before the match between him and Darkness. Annoyed by the fact that it all is taking place a day before leaves Mellon with no choice. His hands being tied, he was going to have to cut a promo using his phone, on the plane, over the plane wifi. It surely isn't perfect but Darkness did such a good job defining what Darkness was that Mellon couldn't help but chime in at the 11th hour.)

Mellon: As you can see, WWX universe, I am on a plane flying cross country on a red-eye in route to Ravage. Here I am, minding my own business, reading, and napping when I see not one but two consecutive promos cut by the man Darkness. Defined as wicked and evil and obscurity and concealment, he went out of his way to open a dictionary for us. Ok, I'm impressed. You can use a dictionary to find your name and tell me what it means. My story? Laughable? I was aiming more for uncomfortable but clearly, your sense of humor is like your name. Dark....ness? See what I did there? Well, let's play a little game... I'm going to open dictionary.com on my iPad and let's see what other definitions we can find for words that are appropriate for this weekend...

(Mellon picks up his iPad and opens up Dictionary.com)

Mellon: Ok, ok, what do we have here? What e're could we be looking for? Oh, here's a good one. Palaver: prolonged and idle discussion. Let's use it in a sentence so we all get a good understanding as to what the word means. When using it in a sentence, "Darkness's promos often are like long, aimless palaver."  Palaver is a good one and so spot on! That's a word that can go a long way in helping you to build an even bigger vocabulary. If my math serves me right, now you have two solid words to use. Darkness and palaver!

(The lady sitting a few seats over begins to chuckle as Mellon continues his rant)

Mellon: Cretin: a stupid person (used as a general term of abuse). When using it in a sentence, "Mellon must step toe to toe with Darkness, also known as a full-fledged cretin." You know, if we keep this up, we'll just have you walking and talking like never before. Let's use both words in a sentence. "The dark cretin runs his gaping wide mouth only to saturate the airwaves with more and more palaver." Now I know I'm asking a lot of you, but since you proved you could open a dictionary I feel as though you can handle all of this talk. Oh, another good word. Darkness, look at this. Faux-Pas! Do you know what Faux-pas means? Faux-pas: an embarrassing or tactless act or remark in a social situation. A great example of that was how you comically suggested that you were going to win this weekend on Ravage. "Darkness made a faux-pas by announcing to the world that he would win a match he has no chance of winning!" Look, it fits perfectly. Not only does it fit perfectly but now you're more cultured because it's a borrowed term from another language! 10 points if you can name that language without opening your dictionary.... (Makes buzzer sound) Aw, too late. It's French. It's gotta be tough to deal with all those bottled up emotions and have to carry a heavy book around with you at all times so you can look up really simple words and attempt to look smart doing it, right?

(Mellon stares blankly into the camera)

Mellon: So now we have these new words. Should I try to put them all into a sentence together? Is it possible??? I'm not sure... Ok. "The dirty cretin, Darkness, with his longwinded palaver, made a huge faux-pas when he announced to the world that he carries a dictionary with him everywhere he goes." You see, buddy ole' pal, I'm not interested in your intelligence or lack of. What I was interested in was learning who Darkness really is. Unfortunately, the outcome was pretty underwhelming. It was almost as disappointing as your overall effort in trying to look smart. See, nobody likes the guy who tries to look like anything. The guy who reminds people that he is successful? Douche. The woman who reminds us of how driven she is? Probably pretty lazy. You know what you should be interested in since my story was nothing more than silly banter to you? You should be interested in the International Champion and his insatiable appetite for crushing baby-face douches like yourself. Take a hint from the real-deal-heel when I say, you're done and you don't even realize it yet. You just messed with the best and with that, you will die like the rest. Well, if you don't die, you'll probably just bottle up those emotions and feelings into that pit you call "darkness".... 

(Mellon smiles and then signs off the phone. After signing off he sits back and waits as the plane makes its final approach.)

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