Hot Dog Frappuccino

Roleplay Roleplay by KURTIS RAY
On Wed, Aug08, 2018 9:22pm America/Phoenix
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Hot Dog Frappuccino
(The camera comes into focus on a large Starbucks logo. There are a lot of people crowded around, most of whom are drinking from overly large, most likely exceptionally unhealthy drinks. There is an uninterested Barista at the counter who is more focused on his phone then anything and taking orders with one hand on the computer, otherwise ignoring the customers. Another frazzled barista is making drinks to try and keep up with the constant deluge of customers. She looks like she's going to either cry or kill something, putting up a drink and calling out the customer tiredly.)

GIRL: I have a trenta half caf half soy half milk cappucino with three pumps of ginger and one pump of vanilla with double whip for...?

(She stops mid sentence, boggling at the cup for a minute before sighing.)

GIRL: For, um, Kurgen?

(There is some laughter and some quiet chattering. The girl rolls her eyes, banging the cup down on the counter.)

GIRL: Order up for Kurgen? Come on, people, if it was a joke that's find. Just come get your order.

(A skinny  man with glasses slinks up to the counter. He looks embarassed and like he wants to run, but he raises his hand.)

KURGEN: That's my order, miss. But, um, my name is Kevin.

(The disinterested barista at the counter snorts back laughter, and some of the other patrons join in. The girl looks apologetic, but before she can say anything to Kevin, he grabs his coffee and dashes out the door. The camera follows him out of the shop, but by the time it pushes through the door, Kevin is nowhere to be seen.)

VOICE: Buncha hipster sheep, man. Places like this make me sick.

(The camera pans to show Kurtis, seated on the ground against the wall outside and eating a hot dog. There is a large beverage set next to him, next to a paper tray with a second dog.)

KURTIS: Gotta deal with a lotta sheep in the day to day, though. Someone tells you you can't do something because it'll piss people off. you do things right, you piss people off. You let people do what they do, you piss people off. There's just no winning sometimes. For example, that cartoon short I shared last time? DMCA strike. What ya gonna do?

(Kurtis shrugs, taking another bite of his hot dog.)

KURTIS: Anyway, there's a reason why we're here, right? We're here cause Blade Rickman had some unkind things to say about me. And you all want to know what it is I got to say about that. Well let me put it this way. Remember when I told you about people asking me to justify why I came back?

(Kurtis flips off the camera.)

KURTIS: Take a seat on that, Rickman, and rotate until your ring chafes. I don't care what you got to say about me, buddy. You act like you're some big, bad man. You act like you're got anything to be proud of. Remember World Series when I beat your ass? Who do I think I am, Rickman? I think I'm the last american icon. I think I'm Kurtis Ray. I think on a bad day I'm a dozen times the man you are on a good one.

(Kurtis takes a drink of his soda, still feigning disinterest.)

KURTIS: You think the odds favor you because you're Tommy's stooge? Tommy comes out, that's another ass to put in the mat. Rex comes out to help you? That's another ass to put in the match. You spent more time talking about Syndicate than you did acknowledging me? Who do you think you are, Blade?

(Kurtis polishes off the first dog, taking another drink from his soda.)

KURTIS: I'll tell you what you think you are Blade. You think you're a hero. You think you're a big man. The worst part is that you think your position as Tommy's fan boy that your righteous. But in reality, you're nothing. You're ancillary. You're a character that barely exists on the fringes of people's attention until Tommy boy trots you out to |BLEEP| someone over. And you live for it. You're pathetic, Rickman. You're worse than pathetic because you honestly believe that you're not.

(Kurtis stands up, brushing dust off the back of his pants and collects the second hot dog. He hands it to a man nearby with a sign that says 'Hungry. Please help.' The man looks grateful, but Kurtis glares at him when the man tries to thank him, leaving the man to wander off with his bounty. Kurtis takes another drink from the soda before discarding it and the first hot dog wrapper in the trash.)

KURTIS: I'll see you on Fury, Blade. You think I'm not worthy of your time? You think I'm gonna be an easy mark? Spoiler alert, Rickman: it's gonna take a lot more than you and Tommy and Rex to stop me. So bring your worse, G.I. Snow. Just better make sure you're prepared to get it ten times worse. We'll see how confident you are when I kick your teeth down your throat. Then Tommy won't have to tell you to be careful with the teeth anymore.

(Kurtis takes his phone out of his pocket, looking at it for a moment before accepting a phone call. He wanders off as the camera pans back to the Starbucks, where Kevin is in the act of pounding on the rude barista from before,. The camera pans up to the sky before cutting to black.)

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