Roleplay Roleplay by KURTIS RAY
On Wed, Mar14, 2018 11:28pm America/Phoenix
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(The screen is dark, with only the sounds of someone moving around audible. A light clicks on, revealing a comfortable looking chair beside a table with a cigar box on top of it. A television is visible in the background, playing old programs from the WWX Network. Humming can be heard somewhere offscreen and, after a moment, Kurtis Ray appears with a glass of wine and a plate with cheese, deli meats, and sliced fruit on it. He sets the tray down next to the cigar box before dropping into the chair, shifting and twisting until he finds a comfortable position.

He picks up the wind glass now, gesturing toward the camera in a half salute before taking a sip from the glass. He sets it down on the table, taking the cigar box now and sliding it into his lap, tenting his fingers over the top. He looks thoughtful for a moment, leaning back in the chair and resting his elbows on the arm, tenting his hands in front of his face.)

KURTIS: Evening, Universe. I know I usually have some elaborate setup for these things, but tonight I'm going to start off with the elephant in the room. After my last promo, Darkness offered up a lean slate. A match between him and me, no Syndicate, no Xavier, no shenanigans. Darkness, I accept. It's like I said before; you don't need tricks to best me when you're on your game, and I guarantee you I don't need tricks or help to beat you. I laid it all out in my interview the other day. I want this to be you and me. No tricks, no help, no shenanigans. That whole beef with you and me and Syndicate... Far as I'm concerned, until it makes itself an issue again I'm done.

(Kurtis opens the cigar box, producing a cigar and a cutter. He sets them aside, closing the cigar box and placing it back on the table.)

KURTIS: This match means a lot to me, Darkness. The last three times you and I have gone mano a mano in the ring, I've come up short. We're not going to talk about the first time, because as far as I'm concerned that's behind us. The last time we went toe to toe in the ring, you edged me out because I was burning the candle at both ends and it was catching up to me. Then there was the tag match, when I had just come out of the hospital for exhaustion and you and Syndicate won the tag titles. Fact is, I haven't had the best track record of late. Now I feel like I've been given a chance to change that, however it is I go about it.

(Kurtis collects the cigar and the cutter, pausing to wave the cigar under his nose and inhale the aroma.)

KURTIS: You ever enjoyed a fine cigar, Darkness? I don't mean the kind you buy at the gas station, or the ones they have in the smoke shops downtown. I mean a real cigar. These ones, for example, are hand-rolled in the Dominican Republic. The company that makes these only makes about fifty boxes a year, and it costs quite a bit to get your hands on one, let alone a whole box. They aren't the rarest cigars you can buy, definitely, but they are enough of a novelty to enthrall and entice a connoisseur into putting up the money when one's available.

(Kurtis slides the cutter on to the cigar and slices off the end, allowing the nub to fall on the table. He places the cigar in his teeth, lighting it with a lighter he produces from his pocket. He takes a pull from the cigar, savoring the flavor, before unleashing a cloud of thick smoke.)

KURTIS: I don't have words to describe this experience. An expensive cigar and a reasonably nice glass of wine, right? Living the dream. Living life high on the hog like some rich twit. And while I am a reasonably well to do twit after a relatively successful career around the world, this fancy cigar and glass of wine is not something I indulge in. Matter of fact, Darkness, this high-class hoity-toity hipster nonsense is probably more your speed. You're  legend. You're a classic. You've got that weird gothy witchcraft thing going on. I bet you'd be the guy smoking artisian tobacco grown by a guy in a coop down the block from your house while sipping wine made from single-origin grapes from a chalice made from the skulls of your enemies, right? Cause you're kind of a badass like that.

(Kurtis takes another puff off the cigar before putting it out in the wine glass.)

KURTIS: But expensive stuff like this isn't me. Yeah, I enjoy the occasional glass of nice Scotch, but I also enjoy the slightly less occasional can of Coors. And who needs a three-hundred dollar cigar when you can get a pack of Marlboros for six bucks at the AM/PM? I'm not saying wine and cigars don't have their lace, quite the contrary. But where there is a place for fancy and elegant, sometimes lowbrow is the way to get the job done, you dig? You and me got a lot in common, Darkness. Like you said, we're two of the best wrestlers in the business today. But where you're that glass of wine and an expensive cigar, I'm the can of beer and a pack of smokes. We do the same thing, but different ways. And while you trot round pretending to be some supernatural force, where you bust out with theatrics and witchcraft and all that drama school bull fluff, I'm the dude that puts on his gear and goes down to the ring to beat someone's ass.

(Kurtis raises from his seat, disappearing off screen for a moment. When he comes back, there's an already-smoldering cigarette held in his lips and a can of Coors Banquet in his hand, which he pops open and takes a drink of.)

KURTIS: Far as Ravage goes, I said it before. I didn't choose to be in this tournament, but I have every intention of winning the International Title. You're in my way to do that, Darkness, so I recommend you come in very prepared because as I have said before, if you and I are the two best performers in this tournament, you and I are going to be the ones who make James Ranger sit back in whatever bs ivory tower he's kicking it in and mutter to himself that he made a miscalculation by starting with you and me. Long as you keep your word, there's nothing that's going to keep this match from being a classic. So rest up, big guy; when Ravage comes around, you're gonna get everything I can throw your way. And I know a great place for condolence cakes, after I put your ass in the mat.

(Kurtis grins, raising the can in salute before taking another drink.)

KURTIS: Now if you'll excuse me... I PVR'd the Bachelor finale, so I'm gonna watch that now. See ya on Ravage, Darkness. Choo choo.

(Kurtis reaches behind the camera, clicking it off.)

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