Just a few quick provisions

Roleplay Roleplay by WILLIE STEEN
On Tue, Apr17, 2018 12:41pm America/Phoenix
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Just a few quick provisions
(Scene opens inside the WWX corporate office building, inside the office of James Ranger. Ranger sits at his desk sorting through paperwork as he prepares for the upcoming pay-per-view. He picks up a Wrestling Weekly magazine and opens it up as his phone begins to ring. He looks up at the phone curiously, sets down the magazine and presses the speakerphone.)

Receptionist: Sir? There are . . . some lawyers here. They say they need to speak to you concerning the Elimination Chamber match at Armada. 

(Ranger raises his eyebrows in confusion.)

Ranger: Uh . . . Ok. Send them in.

Reception: Very good, sir.

(Ranger presses the button to hang up and shakes his head in confusion. He looks down and picks up the magazine. He opens it up and begins reading one of the articles that caught his eye, out loud to himself.)

Ranger: ďWrestling Weekly reports that WWX Superstar and reigning Television Champion, Willie Steen, will be guest starring in an upcoming episode of the CBS crime-drama CSI: Dallas.Ē

(Ranger shakes his head. He scans the article a little more.)

Ranger: ďReporters caught up with Steen . . . Will be in New York, . . . And meet with WWX personnel at Headquarters.Ē

(Ranger looks up, confused.)

Ranger: Meeting at Headquarters? I didnít schedule any . . . 

(Suddenly, Rangerís eyes get wide and panic-stricken. He scrambles to the phone and hurriedly presses the speakerphone.)

Ranger: Wait! Hang on! Whatever you do, donít let them-

(Just then, the door swings open and group of individuals fitted with suits and briefcases enter the room followed by WWX superstar, Willie Steen. Steen walks in fitted in a very expensive looking 3-piece suit, aviator sunglasses and the Television Championship drapes across his shoulder.)

Steen: Range, baby! Howís it hanginí?

(Ranger sighs and hangs his head, dejectedly. Steen takes a seat in the empty chair and motions for the lawyers to stand beside him. They walk up on each side without a word, as Steen kicks his feet up onto Rangerís desk.)

Steen: Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. I know we both have busy schedules. After all, I just finished filming an episode of CSI: Dallas. Iíll be promoting it this week in New York and though that this would be a perfect opportunity to discuss the Elimination Chamber match at Armada. Which, despite my newfound celebrity and Hollywood schedule, I will be competing in.

Ranger: Well, Iím certainly glad you could fit us into your busy schedule.

Steen: Anything for the little people who depend on me.

(Ranger rolls his eyes and shakes his head.)

Ranger: Iím sure the Xsistence will be most appreciative.

Steen: No doubt. Thatís why I wanted to come and get my provisions squared away now so that we can move forward.

(Ranger raises his eyebrows)

Ranger: Iím sorry . . . provisions?

Steen: Well yeah, now that Iím a cross-platform star, it is only necessary that certain provision be made on my behalf. I have to protect my brand.

(Ranger stares at Steen, incredulously)

Ranger: And what exactly, are these are these provisions?

(Steen snaps his fingers and immediately his lawyers move forward. They set their briefcases on Rangerís desk and pull out some legal paperwork. The first lawyer clears his throat.)

Lawyer #1: As the defending Television Champion, Mr. Steen will have the advantage of entering the chamber last. 

Steen: Itís only fair, seeing as I am the champ. I have earned it.

Ranger: I see. Is that all?

Steen: Oh no, thereís plenty more.

(Steen nods to his second lawyer)

Lawyer #2: Provision 2. Mr. Steen is not to be struck, slammed, or touched anywhere near the hair or face. 

Ranger: What?

Steen: Hey, this is the face of a Hollywood leading man. I canít have anyone damaging the money-maker. I got a career to think about.

Ranger: You canít be serious.

Lawyer #3: Provision #3. Mr. Steen will be given his own locker and training room complete with a massage table, 72-inch flat screen, BOSE surround-sound system, full-size hot tub, and eight Brazilian bikini models.

Steen: Female models. Donít try and get cute on me.

(Ranger stares, mouth agape. Lawyer #3 pulls out a slip of paper)

Lawyer #3: Also, Mr. Steen would like to file a restraining order against the superstar known as Super Bacon. Mr. Bacon is not to come within five feet of our client.

Ranger: A restraining order?

Steen: Yes. Do you know what bacon grease does to your skin? I canít have that sweaty, greasy slob touching and rubbing on me. Again, the money-maker. I have to protect it.

Ranger: Heís in the match. How exactly do you plan we carry that one out?

Steen: I donít know. Thatís why I wanted to give it to you now so you have time to figure out the logistics.

Ranger: You really are an idiot.

Steen: Oh hey, be sure to mention provision number seven. Thatís probably the most important.

Lawyer #1: As a special thank you to our client for participating in this match, Jarvis Valentine will be putting his International Championship on the line during the match. Should our client pin Mr. Valentine during the match, he will be crowned the new International Champion.

Ranger: Ok. Thatís does it.

Steen: Actually, thereís a whole Ďnother page . . .

Ranger: No. Youíre done. Iíve heard enough.

Steen: Alright, so whaddaya say? 

Ranger: No. To all of it. No. Hell no.

(Ranger shoves Steenís feet off his desk. Steen removes his sunglasses, taken aback.)

Ranger: Now, on April 26th, youíre going to drag your stupid ass into that Elimination Chamber, youíre going to defend your title against ALL six competitors and youíre gonna like it. Or else, you can just relinquish the title now and we can retire the Television Championship around the waist of someone who isnít a complete jackass.

(Steen looks questioningly at his lawyers and they whisper something into his ear. He turns back to Ranger)

Steen: Ok. So, it sounds like thereís some impasse here. Weíre willing to negotiate a bit. How bout just six Brazilian models?

Ranger: Thatís it, get out! Security!!

(A group of armed security guards charge, grab Steen and his lawyers and escort them to the door.)

Steen: Wait hang on. Címon. Can you at least fix the typo.

Ranger: Hang on

(Ranger puts his hand up and the guards stop)

Ranger: What typo? 

Steen: The typo on the matchcard. You wrote down seven names instead of six. You accidentally added an extra person.

(Ranger walks around the table towards Steen.)

Ranger: Oh, thereís no mistake William. At Armada you will be defending your championship against SIX other superstars inside the Elimination Chamber. So I suggest you make time in your busy schedule to prepare. Because if you fail next week, thereís no reshoot on this one, movie star.

(Before Steen can muster an argument, Ranger snaps his fingers and security drags him and the lawyers out of the office. Ranger slams the door shut and walks back to his desk shaking his head. Scene fades to black.)

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