Math Sucks

Roleplay Roleplay by MATT GLAZEBROOK
On Wed, Oct04, 2017 9:57pm America/Phoenix
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Math Sucks
(Scene opens on the screened-in porch at the 420 residence.  There is a large, circular, wooden picnic table with the wrap-around bench towards the right side of the porch next to the sliding glass door leading into the house.  To the left side of the porch sits a couple of speakers, a large kegerator with 2 taps, and a few nice, leather lounge chairs. Tinordi is seated in one, wearing a pair of grey lacrosse shorts, a black Washington Capitals T shirt, a green 420 floppy hat and a pair of sunglasses.   He is drinking from a large stein. Glazebrook is laid back in the other one and is also drinking from a large stein.  He is wearing a pair of khaki shorts, a red Corliss Williamson Arkansas Razorbacks basketball jersey, and a pair of sunglasses.  There is a small end table between the chairs, where a large glass bowl sits next to an ashtray.)

Tinordi - Whaddup, Cameraman?

Glazebrook - Hey, how's it going?

Cameraman - Hey guys...

Glazebrook – So, it looks like we’re spending the weekend in New Orleans.  Hell of a town, I tell you.

Tinordi – Oh man… N’awlins is a great town, dude.  They definitely know what time it is.

Glazebrook – Yeah, dude.  

Tinordi – Too bad they don’t get to see the full 420 experience in the ring.

Glazebrook – Yeah, dude… but they get to see half.

Tinordi – So what’s that, like, 220 or something?

Glazebrook – Nah, man… I think you forgot to carry the one or something.  

Tinordi – Wait… 420 (he holds his fingers up and starts to count on them.)

Glazebrook - So, anyway, who is the poor unfortunate soul that has to stand across the ring from this finely tuned athletic machine?

Cameraman – Tristan Kancer.

Glazebrook – Really?  That’s his real name?  

Cameraman – I think so.

Glazebrook – Really?  Tristan?

Cameraman – Oh…  Yeah

Glazebrook – Well, Mr. Tristan… Consider yourself fortunate that this match is in one of my favorite cities in the world.  That means, I will make this relatively short and not-so-sweet when we get in the ring on Friday night.  You see, the sooner I lift you up and drop you down onto the mat with a little move I like to call “The Stoner”, the sooner I get my happy ass on Bourbon Street to mingle with the locals and drink hurricanes and hand grenades with the G-Ride, here, and a bunch of women who insist on showing us their breasts.

Tinordi – Huh?  Nah, dude… it’s 210!

Glazebrook – Huh?

Tinordi – Half of 420…. It’s 210.

Glazebrook – I’m half of 420.

Tinordi – No way, dude… so am I!

Glazebrook – Cool.

Tinordi – So, who is this kid you are up against on Fury?

Glazebrook – Uh… What was his name again?

Cameraman – Tristan Kancer.

Tinordi – Really?  That’s his real name?

Glazebrook – That’s what I said!

Tinordi – Really?  Who names their kid Tristan?

Glazebrook – I don’t know, dude.

Tinordi – I wonder if anyone has ever called him the “C” word.

Cameraman – He spells it with a “K”.

Tinordi – What?  K-U-N…

Cameraman – Oh!  I thought you were talking about something else… never mind.

(Tinordi picks up the bowl from the end table and takes a couple deep puffs from it.)

Glazebrook – Anyway, Tristan with a “K”… Welcome to the X… I can’t promise I will take it easy on you, but I will make it quick.  Because the first thing you need to learn here, is that when you step into the ring with 420, we’re gonna treat you like a roach, and smoke ya!!!!

(Tinordi exhales a large hit into the camera until the entire shot is just one big smoke cloud before it fades to black.)

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