MR.CRITIC.VOL-1

Roleplay Roleplay by RIDDICK THE CRITIC CROOKE
On Thu, May10, 2018 2:39pm America/Phoenix
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MR.CRITIC.VOL-1
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[Fade into a shot of the back of a black director's chair with the name "MR.CRITIC" written in olden cursive writting. Riddick the Critic Crooke turns to look over his shoulders and at the camera for all the viewing audience to see as he gives that arrogant smirk and cocky wink into the camera that just makes you want to slap the look off his smug face. What makes it worse? He knows it.]


first off..Syndicate. You suck. Do everyone a favor and shut your pie hole. 


You are the equivalent of a terrorist that took this Company hostage. Now you hold a press conference like some corporate tool whining to the world about how unfair everything is for you as the poor, pitiful, pathetic excuse for a Champion that you are, a hypocritical one.  

[A wall size movie projector screen automatically lowers to play "Highlights" of the World Champions "low-light" reel including every loss, screwjob and hissy fit. 2 hours later..]

Syndicate: "Tonight, the despicable, selfish actions of the WWX general manager, Tommy Lipton, ruined the end of what was sure to be a fantastic main event.  Because of Mr. Lipton's involvement, not only was Rex McAllister was added as a partial and biased guest referee, but Mr. Lipton's direct involvement cost both Korath and I a definitive win.  This goes directly against what the WWX should be: a fair, unbiased place to have an athletic competition in a sport such as professional wrestling.  After one week of Tommy Lipton's stint as general manager, I am calling for his resignation and immediate retirement."

*Some of the reporters in the room gasp.*

Syndicate: "In one week, he has caused just as much - if not more - chaos as James Ranger, and this needs to be stopped before it gets out of hand.  Tommy Lipton is a partisan general manager that rewards his favorites and punishes his enemies.  He holds grudges, he doesn't know when to go away, and he loves to ruin this company bit by bit.  I did my part by ending his in-ring career at Armada, but it's clear that the poison that has been affecting this company for well over a decade is still present in its veins. For the good of the World Wrestling eXistence...I want that poison gone for good."

*Syndicate pauses, letting his words sink in. The video clip pauses still in freeze frame.*


-Riddick the Critic-
Correct me if I am wrong but were you or were you not in the Big Time Agency that rewards favorites and punishes enemies? That WAS you right crybaby Sydney. Also, did you or did you not once decide the fate of the World Title as a partisan, biased special enforcer referee?


Turning tides.


Frankly, I tuned out the rest of his boring snoozefest of a press conference. Minus two stars.
Wasted two minutes of my life that I can't get back.. 


Anyways, let's get to this week's victim, shall we?

[The slide rotates on and slips into place on the projector wall screen to reveal a photo still of Hex girl.]


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-Riddick the Critic-


Appearance.


Hex Girl has all the sex appeal of a S and M tom boy dominatrix. Minus 3 and a half stars. 

Ability.

	
Not bad, for a female. Better than most of the boys in the locker room. Four stars.

Verbal linguistic skills.


Surprisingly well in this catagory. One star.

Opponent Review.. 
A few fun facts about Hex Girl: 

1) Even though her profile shows her as being 5'6" she is actually only 5'3"
Height challenged? 
2) While she is currently listed as a superface Hex Girl has always danced the line and is actually more true to the definition of "Tweener".
Fence rider?
3) For her size Hex Girl can put away an impressive amount of alcohol. Good to know. 

4) Hex Girl got her start in wrestling with some rather unscrupulous backyard fed who did not care about safety. As a result of her time with them she has nerve damage that stops her from feeling pain in three large areas on her body. She does not let it be known where these spots are to keep her opponents guessing. Ooh, a guess game. Fun.

5) She has changed her entrance music several times over the years and will bounce between her different themes. Fans can tell how she's feeling about the match by which song gets used. My suggestion and request is poetic mastery of Cindy Lauper's classic hit "girls just wanna have fun."

As of late she has put aside her more colorful ring attire and has shifted to wearing a black leather bikini top with black latex boy shorts and now goes barefoot her body smeared in black and blood red body paint. She still wears her signature cat ears but no longer considers them a jest at women's wrestling now they are more of a dare to anyone brave enough to try to take them off her. Sounds like a kinky threat..  

(Her usual ring attire is a neon pink key hole halter with a black mesh/large fishnet top over it, a super short blue/green plaid pleated shirt black running shorts under the skirt fishnet stockings and wearing one safety orange converse sneaker on her right foot and a knee high purple boot on her left. On her left hand she wears a fingerless red biker glove and on her right she has a lime green glove also fingerless that reaches her elbow. the half cape she wears to the ring is hunter green and only reaches down to her butt.)


MINUS 5 STARS FOR FASHION! 


Conclusion.


My first ever match will be against a five foot nothing hundred and nothing pound female. 


[scoffs.] 


I could try harder but why? This will be like taking candy from a baby during a cake walk the park. There is one tin you can attempt to do.. Impress me. 

[FIN']

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