My job just gets easier...

Roleplay Roleplay by BOB THE BEAST MELLON
On Tue, Dec12, 2017 7:47pm America/Phoenix
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My job just gets easier...
(Bob Mellon is sitting in his home reading the news on the internet when an email is received. He looks at the email and notices that his opponent for Saturday is announced. He had a hunch it would be Tom Black and sure enough the announcement hits the ground running and Mellon has his opponent for this weekend. Now with plenty of time to prepare, Mellon sends out a press release to the WWX Universe on the upcoming International title match with Tom Black.)

Mellon: Hello morons and imbeciles! It has just come to my attention that my opponent this weekend will be the talentless and hopelessly lost Tom Black. I know what you're all thinking? He can barely speak one language, and I can speak multiple. How could a man so dumb be allowed the share the ring with a man of both athletic and academic excellence like myself? I'll tell you how. The talent pool in the International Championship division is so bad that this is the best they can scrape up off the bottom of the barrel. It's why we have to have a triple threat match at Holiday Hell because Tom Black alone couldn't sell tickets in that match, which is obvious,  so they added Krimzon Blaze to increase the allure. By the way, didn't Krimzon already pin Tom Black in the squared circle a couple weeks ago? That's how this embarrassment all started. 

(Mellon takes a sip of his Diet Coke)

Mellon: See, Tom, you come out here, after basically disappearing, and make like you never left. Newsflash, some of us have been busting our behinds to keep this pathetic excuse of a triple-threat match alive. But sure, come in at the 11th hour and take your gimme title match and see what it brings you. I can assure you it will not end how you imagine. You can sit there and waste all of our time running us through the many different ways you see yourself as the next international champion but when push comes to shove, you're a nobody. You're even worse than that. You're a never was. Think about the impact you have had on us all here. You're a bum. A loser. There aren't enough words in the dictionary, which I've learned recently that you know better than most, that describe what a disappointment you are.

(Mellon laughs to himself)

Mellon: I know I'm harping here but you had a chance at having a one on one title match at a huge PPV event and you blew it. How could you ever be considered a real threat when you couldn't even do the simple job of keeping your title match a one on one affair. You botched it and now I have to listen to Krimzon and his partner Fozzy talk about how they might win this title and have the tag titles and rule the world. It is all so damn annoying. And why? Because of your incompetence, you were unable to finish a simple task. Your inability to do your job. How unbelievably aggravating that is to me. So now you sit there thinking you deserve something. You earned something. You're going to be the next champion? Tom, you earned jack squat. You responded to an open challenge. An open challenge that was there because I was bored. Why was I bored? Because I have work with morons and imbeciles like you. I have to find excitement elsewhere and just my luck I'm stuck with you, again...

(Mellon drops his head into his hands)

Mellon: So you hit your little finishing maneuver on me last week and that gives you some false confidence that everything will be ok this weekend? You took advantage of a situation, cost me a win, and then eliminated me after the fact. I'm sorry, and that makes you the big bad dark one? Come on, Tom. I had Krimzon on the ropes and that was while I was fending off Fozzy and his minion. Think about that for a second. I went down for good after the fourth man laid me out. You were the fourth man. Do you get that? THE FOURTH! IT TOOK FOUR OF YOU TO TAKE ME DOWN. Scary. Do you really want to brag about that? Is that something to show the world and be proud of? I'll say it again because you spend a lot of time in the dark by yourself and I'm starting to think you're a little slow... YOU WERE THE FOURTH MAN IN A MATCH THAT I HAD TO FEND OFF THREE OTHER MEN IN. YOU GET NO GOLD STAR. YOU GET NO PAT ON THE BACK. You essentially waited until the ideal time to take a chair to Krimzon and then drop me to the mat. Yeah, right. That's the champion I want representing the division... 

(Mellon rolls his eyes)

Mellon: So I will finish with this, Tom. You're in way over your head and I think you know that already. And if by some chance you don't, you will find that out on Saturday. However, this is good for you. This will be a great taste as to what it will be like, come Holiday Hell, for you to feel the power, destruction, and devastation of the Beast. As I always say to my victims.. I'm the "Ideal Heel" and when you mess with the best, you die like the rest....

(Mellon ends the video, submits it to the web and goes back to reading the news and living his life.) 

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