#onemanshow

Roleplay Roleplay by KURTIS RAY
On Tue, Dec26, 2017 11:58pm America/Phoenix
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#onemanshow
(A single spotlight clicks on, lighting up a deep red curtain at the back of a stage, empty except for a stool with a glass on top of it and a microphone stand. Soft music plays from unseen speakers, setting a spartan ambiance. The myriad sounds of an unseen audience can be heard over the music, and as it builds to a swell, finally the curtain at the back parts and Kurtis Ray emerges, somewhat more kept than usual. He is wearing a T-Shirt with the tag #onemanshow printed on it. Muted cheers come from behind the camera, and Kurtis grins, waving out to the crowd as he picks up the microphone.)

KURTIS: Evening, universe! Thanks for coming out tonight. When I came up with the idea for this show I didn't think we'd do this well, but what do I know?

(There is a smattering of laughs, and Kurtis grins sheepishly.)

KURTIS: So I guess you guys all know how this is going to go down. I'm gonna tell you some stuff, there's gonna be stupid jokes, and I'm probably going to flounder miserably, but they're recording this for the WWX Network, so don't make me look too bad, alright?

(There are more laughs this time, and Kurtis stops to take a drink from the glass. He is silent for another moment, taking another drink before producing a flask from his pocket and pouring whatever is inside into the glass.)

KURTIS: Appreciate it.

(There are more cheers now, and Kurtis starts to look a little more confident as he takes a drink.)

KURTIS: So as much as I want to get to the main event, there is a little bit of unpleasantness I gotta deal with, and I cleared it with the PA that's recording this shindig, so I'm going to go off script for a moment. Cause see, you all know that I have a match on Ravage this week, right? Right after I have a tag match with one partner I didn't want, I get stuck in another one with two more. Hooray.

(There are more laughs from the crowd, but Kurtis looks nonplussed, taking another swig from the glass.)

KURTIS: I'm coming off a strong week last week on Ravage. In fact, I'm coming in off a pretty decent hot streak right now. Two weeks ago, if you'll recall, I beat Syndicate clean in the middle of the ring. And that was without my so-called trump card. Last week, I turned garbage into gold when me and Willie Steen beat Krimzon Blaze and the former TV Champion, Fozzy Osborne for the tag team titles. Now this week, the week before Holiday Hell, I'm saddles with Tommy Lipton and Rayne in a match against Rex McAllister, Syndicate, and Darkness. A precursor to chaos, to be sure.

(Kurtis shakes his head, beginning to pace on the stage.)

KURTIS: To be frank, I don't like it. I'm no fan of Tommy Lipton or Rayne. But I'm thankful I didn't end up on the same team as Syndicate, because the only thing I can think of that's worse than having the Cool Factor as my tag partner is the Outlaw. I know you guys like him, but I don't get the appeal. Kinda like the Kardashians, someone's always going on about him and it usually pisses me off.

(There are more laughs and cheers from the audience, but Kurtis doesn't really seem to be paying attention.)

KURTIS: This isn;t about championships. This isn;t about titles this time This is about coexisting with Rayne and Tommy to put on a hell of a show on Ravage to build hype for Holiday Hell. And you had better believe there is nobody better suited to building hype than Kurtis Ray, baby. There's a reason I call myself the Hype Train, and there's a reason the audience loves it. Right universe?

(Kurtis holds the mic out toward the invisible crowd, significantly amplifying the cheers from the people in the theater.)

KURTIS: You hear them, boys? That's for me. Hundreds of people in this building paid money to see me. Thousands of people in the arena will be there to cheer for me on Ravage. Millions of people will tune in to Holiday Hell to see me walk out WWX Champion. They are my power. They don't underestimate me. They don't think my time has passed. They want to see the Hype Train keep building momentum rolling into the new year, and you know what? I'm not one to disappoint.

(Kurtis grins, collecting the glass again to take another drink before tossing it aside and lifting himself up onto the stool.)

KURTIS: Syndicate... Rex... Darkness... Tommy... Rayne... I leave you all with a warning, partner and opponent alike. You mess with the Hype Train, and you will not enjoy the result. All aboard the Hype Train.

(Kurtis holds the mic out the crowd again.)

CROWD: CHOO CHOO!!

KURTIS: You're damn right! Now lets get this shindig started!

(The camera cuts to a title card, then fades to black.)

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