Playing Ping Pong With My Ding Dong

Roleplay Roleplay by MATT GLAZEBROOK
On Fri, Jul06, 2018 7:59pm America/Phoenix
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Playing Ping Pong With My Ding Dong
(Scene opens in the film room of the 420 residence.  There is a large white screen which takes up an entire wall.  In the middle of this screen is a small window (about the size of a large screen TV, 75 inches or so) with footage of the hardcore championship match between Glazebrook and Dragonfly.  The camera pans around the room to show about 20 theatre style seats in the back of the room.  There are a couple of chalkboards against the side wall with various writing on them.   In front of these seats are two huge black leather massaging recliners with a small wooden coffee table in between them.  A couple bottles of Dogfish 90 are on the table, along with an ashtray and a large glass bong.  Tinordi and Glazebrook are laid back in a recliner, watching the screen.  Tinordi is wearing a pair of black lacrosse shorts, a grey Virginia Tech T shirt, and a tan floppy hat.  Glazebrook is sporting a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a black Pittsburgh Penguins T shirt.  Glazebrook looks up and notices the camera as Tinordi is speaking inaudibly and using the mouse as a cursor on the big screen.)

Glazebrook - Whaddup, Cameraman?

Cameraman - Hey, guys.

Tinordi - How's it going?

Cameraman - Pretty good.  You guys checking the tape of Matt's last match?

Tinordi - Yeah, dude... Glaze had it in the bag, man.

Glazebrook - (shouting) He is who I thought he was!  And I let him off the hook!!!

Tinordi - I agree man... your closer blew the save, man.

Glazebrook - And now they threw this other little guy in the ring to make a 3 way thing.  

Tinordi - Yeah, dude.. I heard he is a superhero.

Glazebrook - Oh yeah?  What's his super power?

Tinordi - I don't know.  I don't even know his super name.

Cameraman - Super Bacon.

Tinordi - I'm sorry... did you say Super Bacon?

Glazebrook - Is his super power the ability to fry and sizzle?

Tinordi - He's a part of your balanced, complete breakfast.

Glazebrook - The ability to make a cheeseburger even MORE delicious!

Tinordi - Yeah, dude...

Glazebrook - So, now I'm going to have these 2 little mosquitoes buzzing around me.

Tinordi - Yeah, dude... it'll be like that scene in King Kong where the monkey is on the building and the planes are all flying around him and he swats them both down.

Glazebrook - Yeah, but King Kong falls off that building and dies at the end.

Tinordi - Ok, so not exactly like that... but like the flying around and swatting the planes down part.  And if he didn't die, King Kong would have totally gotten the girl.

Glazebrook - Yeah... DUDE... that's crazy!  King Kong would totally rip... like, that's not even physically possible!

Tinordi - Oh yeah...  (he picks up the bong and takes in a large hit)

Glazebrook - Anyway, (in a superhero announcer voice) Super Bacon!!!  You are about to learn a valuable lesson that your little buddy Dragon dude knows all about.  You can say it, Dragon... everybody knows if some crazed fan didn't bum rush the ring that you were going through that table and down for the count.  And at Outrage, I will finish the job.  I just traded for Aroldis Chapman.  Because when you step in the ring with 420, we're gonna treat you like a roach and smoke ya!

(Tinordi exhales an immense cloud of smoke into the camera until it fills the shot and the screen fades to black.)

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