Too weird to live, too rare to die...

Roleplay Roleplay by GARY TINORDI
On Fri, Aug11, 2017 10:44pm America/Phoenix
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Too weird to live, too rare to die...
(Scene opens in a large office.  The walls are decorated with many certificates and memoriabilia from sports to movies to music.  A large foreign man wearing a loose suit is smoking a cigarette and seated behind a desk across from 420.  His hair is almost curly enough to 'fro, but he has more of a greasy look.  I think he’s probably Samoan.  Glazebrook is wearing a grey t shirt with a black blazer, which is unbuttoned.  He has black slacks on with dress shoes.  Tinordi is wearing a pair of khaki pants and a black polo with a black pair of dress shoes, as well.  Tinordi is wearing a black Baltimore Orioles floppy hat.  The camera appears to be turned on in the middle of a meeting as the man is handing Glazebrook a folder.)

Attorney – So, here is what I had drawn up for later, if it gets to that point.  I will add the things we talked about today and have it ready well before we will need it.  I will also email you the points that we drew up today for the initial contact.  Now, it is very important that you pay attention to your choice of wording here.  You guys are going to be on that mic by yourselves.  Legally speaking, it can make a big difference in how this whole thing goes.  I’m sorry, but what did you say the name of this crew is again?

Tinordi – Like, the Blayde Club?

Attorney – Well, as your attorney, I advise you to buy a blade of some sort.

Tinordi – Ooh… good idea.  What are you thinking?  Like, a knife?

Attorney – I was thinking more like a Samurai sword, but a knife would fulfill the requirement.

Glazebrook – What about a ceiling fan?

Tinordi – Or maybe a pair of ice skates?

Attorney - Uh...

Glazebrook – Yeah, dude… maybe we could buy a blender…

Tinordi – Yeah, dude… or maybe we could buy a shaving kit…

Glazebrook – … or a propeller…

Cameraman – Guys….

Tinordi – Or, like, that part of the car engine with the fan blades?

Cameraman – GUYS!!!

Tinordi – Huh?  Oh whaddup, Cameraman?

Glazebrook – Yeah, how’s it going?

Cameraman – Pretty good.

Tinordi – I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

Attorney – So...

Glazebrook - Oh yeah!

Attorney - So, we’re going to make these bastards sign contracts every step of the way.

Tinordi – I like it!

Attorney – Well, then gentlemen, if there is nothing else I can assist you with, I believe my next appointment is here.

Glazebrook – Aw man… you don’t have time to go for a ride and burn one?

Attorney – I believe this will be a pretty quick meeting.  If you would like to sit in the waiting area until I am done, I do have a lunch break coming up.  There’s a spot down the street with excellent margaritas and tacos.

Tinordi – I don’t know.  I’m not too big on Mexican restaurants.

Attorney – Who said it was a Mexican restaurant?  It’s a gentlemen’s club.

Glazebrook – I’m down.

Attorney – As your attorney, I advise you to meet me in the parking lot in about 15 minutes.  We’ll take my car.

Glazebrook - Hey... thank you.

Tinordi - Yeah, dude... you rock.

Attorney - You're very welcome.

(All 3 men stand up and shake hands.  The camera follows Glazebrook and Tinordi out to the waiting area.  It is a large area with about 15 large seats scattered around in groups of 2 and 3.  There is a woman seated behind a counter and a large TV against the back wall.  The guys sit down in front of the TV and Glazebrook finds the remote control.  He picks it up.)

Tinordi – Dude… put it on Tru TV.  I think Impractical Jokers is on.

Glazebrook – No way, dude… that comes on at night.  I’ll just put it on Sportscenter.

Tinordi – Oh yeah… that works.

Glazebrook - So, like... you feel good about this?  You know, opening ourselves up to possibly joining forces with these guys?

Tinordi - Dude... I should be asking you this question.

Glazebrook - Dude... I'm fine with what happened.

Tinordi - I mean, you say that, but why are you even asking me?

Glazebrook - I know... it's just that last time we talked about it, you seemed hesitant.

Tinordi - Ok, man... let's flip the script here... what if it was me that smoked the salvia?  What if you had got out of the bathroom and found they started your match early and you got cornered and "offered the peace pipe" and it turns out that you got laced with a crazy psychedelic?  You run to the ring to find me huddled in a corner, not knowing where the hell I was and what the hell was going on?  Having to explain for 3 minutes who I was and why we had to walk down the dark tunnel of doom and away from the pretty bright light so that the next match could happen.

Glazebrook - Is that what this is about?  Are you just jealous?

Tinordi - I mean, a little.  But part of me feels like this crew screwed over my best friend and now you want to work with them?

Glazebrook - Ok... keep the script flipped, and add on that you were fine with what happened and wanted to listen to why they want to work with us?  Remember, it was them who apologized and made the offer.  We have to look at this as a business opportunity.  Now, our attorney is the best in the business.  You know who he has represented in the past.  How would you feel if I kept bringing up what they did to us instead of focusing on what they could end up doing for us?

Tinordi - All I'm saying is that back in the day, we would have rushed out, interrupted their next match and stomped on them for awhile.

Glazebrook - But we've grown up a little.  We have a little more tolerance for immature bullshit.  We've realized we're better than that and we can use that to our advantage.  

Tinordi - Dude... you're the one that brought it up.

Glazebrook - Dude... what do you think, Cameraman?

Cameraman - I mean, I don't think there is any harm in listening to what they have to say.  You are definitely covering your bases by meeting with a lawyer.

Tinordi - Ok... I've already said I was good with it.  I showed up here today to talk about it.

Glazebrook - I'm just making sure.

Tinordi - Sure...

Cameraman - So, are you guys going to talk about your match on Fury this weekend?

Tinordi - We have a match on Fury this weekend?  Oh yeah... we gotta go at it with that Lipton and Rex dude again.

Glazebrook - Wait... didn't they win the belts again?

Tinordi - Uh... maybe.

Cameraman - Yeah, but this is a non title match.

Tinordi - Non title?  Didn't we just win a match that gave us a title shot?

Glazebrook - Umm... Yeah... I think we did.

Cameraman - Yeah, you did... but that doesn't mean they have to give you the title shot right away.

Tinordi - I don't know... maybe we should have our attorney look into this.

Glazebrook - Dude.. that's a good idea.  Speaking of which, aren't we supposed to be meeting him somewhere for lunch?

Tinordi - Yeah, dude... like at some Mexican Gentleman's Club, or something.

Glazebrook - Dude... I love the senoritas.

Tinrodi - Mucho bonita.

Glazebrook - Yeah, dude...  So, where is this joint?

Tinordi - In my pocket.

Glazebrook - Nah, dude... I mean... the Mexican place.

Tinordi - Oh...

Cameraman - You're supposed to meet him in the parking lot.

Tinordi - Oh yeah... So, what are we doing here with your butt-munch ass?

Cameraman - I don't know... trying to wrap this up?  We are still filming here...

Glazebrook - Oh yeah!  So, like... we'll treat you like a roach and smoke ya!!!

Tinordi - Uhh.. yeah, but I don't have anything to blow smoke into the camera with.

(Fade to black.)

(The camera comes back on in a private room of a club.  Gary Tinordi is seated on a couch with 2 scantily clad women grinding on him in all kinds of flexible poses.  "Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie is blaring as the camera zooms in on his face.  He takes a large hit of the blunt he is smoking and exhales the smoke into the camera until it encompasses the whole shot before fading to black.)

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